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  Once Banta Singh attended an Interview. > Interviewer : Give me the opposite words. > Banta Singh : Ok > Interviewer : Made in India > Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan > Interviewer : Keep it p > Banta Singh : P!t it Down > Interviewer : Ma i M!m > Banta Singh : Mini Dad > Interviewer : #no!gh$ %ake yo!r Seat > Banta Singh : Don&t take my seat > Interviewer : Idiot$ %ake yo!r Seat > Banta Singh : '(ever$ Don&t take my Seat > Interviewer : I say yo! get o!t$ > Banta Singh : )o! didn&t say I come in > Interviewer : I re*ect yo!$ > Banta Singh : )o! +ppoint me > Interviewer: ........$$$$$$$ > ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, > Santa: -hat is another dierence /etween a mos0!ito and a (y1 > Banta: + (y can (y /!t a mos0!ito cannot mos0!ito. > ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, > Banta: -hen did George -ashington die1 > Santa: two days /eore his !nera(. > ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, > Banta: %e(( me ive 2#3O'IOS anima(s yo! can think o........ > Santa: 4 5ions and 6 %igers. > > Banta Singh was in co!rt charged with parking his car in a restricted area. %he 7!dge askd him i he had anything to say in his deence. 8%hey sho!(d not p!t !p s!ch mis(eading notices89 said Banta. 8It said9 2I# 2O3 P+3KIG ;#3#8 > > ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, > Santa Singh and Banta Singh were a(ways /oasting o their parents > achievements to each other. > Santa Singh : ;ave yo! ever heard o the S!e< 'ana(1  > Banta Singh : )es I have. > Santa Singh : -e((9 my ather d!g it. > Banta Singh : %hat&s nothing9 have yo! ever heard o Dead Sea1 > Santa Singh : )es I have. > Banta Singh : -e((9 my ather ki((ed it.   1. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights. 2. Pretty girls on the plane would distract us. 3. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves. 4. With food and drinks on the plane we would forget why we!re there. . We talk with our hands; therefore we would have to put our weapons down. #. We would $%% want to fly the plane. &. We would argue and start a fight in the plane. '. We can!t keep a secret; we would have told everyone a week before doing it. $() *. We would have put our country!s flag on the windshield+++++ 7 dont's after a meal> *Don't smoke- Experiment from experts proves that smoking a cigarette> after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes > (chances of cancer is higher! > * Don't eat fr#its immediatel$ - %mmediatel$ eating fr#its after meals> &ill ca#se stomach to be bloated &ith air! > herefore take fr#it 1- hr after meal or 1hr before meal! > * Don't drink tea - )eca#se tea leaves contain a high content of acid! > his s#bstance &ill ca#se the rotein content in the food &e  cons#me to> be hardened th#s diffic#lt to digest! > * Don't loosen $o#r belt - +oosening the belt after a meal &ill easil$> ca#se the intestine to be t&isted , blocked! > * Don't bathe - )athing &ill ca#se the increase of blood flo& to the> hands legs , bod$ th#s the amo#nt of blood > aro#nd the stomach &ill therefore decrease! his &ill &eaken the> digestive s$stem in o#r stomach! > * Don't &alk abo#t - eople al&a$s sa$ that after a meal &alk a h#ndred> steps and $o# &ill live till ..! %n act#al fact this is not tr#e! > /alking &ill ca#se the digestive s$stem to be #nable to absorb the> n#trition from the food &e intake! > * Don't sleep immediatel$ - he food &e intake &ill not be able to digest> properl$! h#s &ill lead to gastric , infection in o#r intestine! > > %2++3 D4 56 8EE 9% E:2%+!!! +E2E 4;/2;D % 4 346; ;%ED!> +E 9E: )E 2/2;E<<> hanks , ;egards9ansra= Da#nde njoy this. (ew ,ob -nterview echni/ue  Take the prospective employee and put him in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave himalone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what he is doing. If he has taken the table apart, put him in Engineering.If he is counting the butts in the ashtray, assign him to inance.If he is waving his arms and talking out loud, send him to !onsulting.If he is talking to the chairs, ersonnel is a good spot for him.If he is sleeping, he is #anagement material.If he is writing up the e$perience, send him to the Technical %ocumentation team.If he doesn&t even look up when you enter the room, assign him to 'ecurity.If he tries to tell you it&s not as bad as it looks, put him into #arketing.If he is wearing green sunglasses and need a haircut, 'oftware is his niche.If he mentions what a good price we got for the table and chairs, send him to urchasing.  If he mentions that hardwood furniture does not come from rainforests, ublic (elations will suit him that. > > >> > > %ncident 01> > >> > > 2 little bo$ died beca#se s#rgeons fo#nd ants in his brain<2pparentl$> > > this bo$ fell asleep &ith some s&eets in his mo#th or &ith some s&eet> > st#ff> > > beside him! 2nts soon got to him and some ants in fact cra&led intohis> > ear> > > &hich someho& managed to go to his brain! /hen he &oke #p he did not> > > reali?e that ants had gone to his head! 2fter that he constantl$> > complains> > > abo#t itchiness aro#nd his face! 9is mother bro#ght him to see adoctor> > b#t> > > the doctor co#ld not fig#re o#t &hat &as &rong &ith him! 9e took an> @-ra$> > > of the bo$ and to his horror he fo#nd a gro#p of live ants in his> sk#ll!> > > ince the ants are still alive the doctor co#ld not operate on himco?> > > ants &ere constantl$ moving abo#t! he bo$ at last died! o please be> > > caref#l &hen leaving food st#ff near $o#r bed or &hen eating in bed!> his> > > might attract ants! :ost importantl$ EAE; eat a s&eet before going> bed!> > > 3o# might fall asleep and s#ffer same fate as the little bo$!> > >> > > %ncident 0> > >
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