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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS VERBAL

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Why our domestic violence stats are skewed
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  Woman Hospitalized after Boyfriend Beats Her! Twelve million Americans between the ages of 18 and 32 areaected by domestic violence every year.  Jack Robinson was from Milwaukee. He was a 21-year old auto mechanic who had spent most of his adult life chasing and idolizing women. He enoyed playing !ideo games" oking with coworkers andhanging out with friends . #ne day" he hoped to meet that special someone.  Jack Meets Shelly $nfortunately" Jack hadn%t had much success with women. &or reasons he couldn't understand" they usually didn't approach him. Hoping to change this" he had adopted an almost larger-than-life persona that he belie!ed they would (nd hard to resist--or so he thought. Jack knew that modern-day mating rituals re)uire stamina and hard work. *efore his cotton-candy dreams could come true" his pedigree" zip code and medical history would be scrutinized and compared to those of others. He made sure he was prepared.&earful of reection and unsure about what would work best" Jack con!inced himself that he should be seen as a hybrid--a girlish  +aylor ,autner and a swaggering hris ratt. /t was a tall order" but he tempered his an0iety by reminding himself that" should he fail toclose the deal or get a phone number" he could sal!age his ego witha beer and a !isit to the nearest girlie bar. Jack li!ed in a mega-uni!erse of horny studs" all competing for the same thing. ith a!erage looks and a lack of con(dence" he knew he was not e0actly ac 3fron" perched atop the dating food chain.4till" when he met one of the most beautiful women he had e!er seen" he decided it was time for a change. He resisted feelings of hopelessness and assumed a casual stance" ignoring his racing heart and the sweat trickling down his sides. &orcing a con(dent grin" he walked up to her and said" 5Hello" my name is Jack.6  +he woman stared back" but he didn't 7inch. He worried that she might see through his cocksure !eneer.  4he smiled. 5My name is 4helly.6 5Hi" 4helly. an / buy you a drink865hy not86  +he tension inside abated. Jack steered her toward the bar and she ordered a cocktail. 9s they talked" warmth radiated from her. He learned her name was 4helly eterson" and that she was a patient care assistant at the local hospital.9s minutes turned to hours" he leaned in" absorbing each word and gesture. hen her glass was half-empty" he bought another round. His heart felt 7ush" but he kept the con!ersation light: he steered clear of contro!ersial subects and deeply personal )uestions. 4oon"he was hyperaware of his physical self. He planted his feet apart" propped a casual elbow on the bar" and raised an eyebrow. 4helly's body language said she was open and rela0ed. Jack%s mind raced and he sa!ored thoughts of what might happen ne0t. ould they ha!e se08 /t didn't matter" he decided. +hey were ha!ing a lot of fun. *esides" he already had her number. Dating  +he connection was instant; their two beating hearts sprouted wings with e!ery 7attering word" each pleasurable touch. 4pirits soared wildly" free of the twisted wreckage of half-forgotten lo!ers.  Jack had much to learn about his new-found companion. 4he was anenigma" a cache of une0pected delights. He worked hard to beha!e  ust right on e!ery date. He kept the con!ersation light--no religion" no politics. 9fter sharing their innermost sel!es" they shared their 7esh" wrapped up in each other's pleasure. /n the months that followed" they got to know each other well" inside and out.3!entually" the relationship became serious. #ne night at the chic 4tanford Restaurant" 4helly's eyes met Jack%s. 5Men ha!e hurt me inthe past.6 Jack swallowed a mouthful of steak and his eyebrows arched. 5#h865/ once caught an e0 cheating on me. /t made me feel so worthless.6 4helly's eyes welled up as her shoulders cur!ed  forward.  Jack's protecti!eness was instincti!e and immediate. 5/ would ne!erdo that to you.6 He reached across the table" taking her hand.5He really hurt me. / don't e!er want to go through that again.6 4helly wiped her eyes with a napkin and tried to smile. Her (ngers trembled. Jack was o!erwhelmed by the desire to hold her and keep her safe. 5/'ll see to it that you don't"6 he said softly" s)ueezing her hand.4helly stared into his face for a few moments. 59re you sure86 Her tone bore more than a hint of accusation.5<ou can trust me. /'m not like those other guys.6Her demeanor softened. 5+hank you"6 she said" demurely picking upher fork and returning to her salad./n that moment" Jack !owed to gi!e her all the comfort and attention she would e!er need. +he decision made him feel good. /t made him feel strong. The Next eel  +en months later" 4helly told Jack" 5/ think /'m falling in lo!e with you.69 buzzing noise slowly spiraled in his head. 5Me" too"6 he proudly declared. He kissed her warmly.5/ think we should take our relationship to the ne0t le!el"6 4helly said. Jack adored 4helly" so he readily agreed. 54ure= hy not865e should be e0clusi!e.6 Jack hesitated. 530clusi!e>of course.65Jack" you could be   the one for me. e could ha!e what my parentsand grandparents had.6  5+hank you.6 He blushed.9nd ust like that" the traectory of his life changed. Jack's e!ery mo!e was now aligned with 4helly and her goals. 9 fresh and e0citing future awaited them. Monogamy" #irst Month  +hey celebrated their one-month anni!ersary at her fa!orite restaurant. Halfway through" 4helly asked" 5here do you think is the best place to raise children86 ith his fork frozen halfway between the plate and his mouth" Jack blinked. He had ne!er considered kids and didn't know what to say.  +hinking about her )uestion" Jack's eyes mindlessly followed the denim-clad bottom of an attracti!e woman who walked through the door. 4helly kicked him under the table. 5hy are you looking at her86 Jack 7inched. He lowered his head and his stomach sank. 5?on't youe!er look at other guys86 he asked )uietly.5@e!er=6 she said" a wounded look in her eyes.5@o86 Jack didn't belie!e her. He felt chastised and small. He ne!er thought that merely looking at someone would cause any harm" especially to 4helly" the lo!e of his life. He wanted to ask her why she felt like this" but he did not want to do so when she seemed so upset. He was on eggshells until they (nished.#n the way home" he decided it was probably best to smooth thingso!er rather than risk upsetting her again. He promised he would try not to ogle other women in future. hen they arri!ed back home" 4helly turned suddenly and asked" 5?o you think she's prettier than me86 Jack felt like he was being scolded by his mother. His throat constricted and he rubbed the back of his neck. 5#f course not.6 4helly 7ared her nostrils. 5+his isn't the (rst time /'!e noticed you checking out other women.6  5*ut sweetheart" that stuA doesn't mean anything. /'m with you" aren't /865/%m watching you.6 4helly%s eyes narrowed to menacing slits.5/%m sorry" baby. / won't do it again.6 He tried to kiss her. 4he turned her face and brushed him away. 5/f you want me to stay with you" you'll ha!e to treat me right.6 Jack%s heart sank. 5#kay"6 he mumbled" fumbling with the key.He opened the front door and skulked into the house. He headed straight for the bathroom" slamming the door shut and 7ipping the latch. He could hear her whining morosely in the hallway" 5<ou  promised  you'd ne!er hurt me.6 Monogamy" #ifth Month 9s days and weeks passed" Jack 7oated through a dreamy wonderland of lo!e and intimacy. 3!ery morning" birds chirped and the coAee perked while the couple lay nestled in each other's arms. hene!er they argued" make-up se0 always brought him back into line with her !iews.  +hen one &riday morning" 4helly asked" 59re you going out with the guys tonight86 Jack was already halfway out the door. He paused midstride. 5#f course. Just like e!ery &riday.65hen are you going to get tired of that86 she asked" suddenly annoyed.5$mm>ne!er8 hat do you mean864he put her hands on her hips. 5/ always thought you'd grow out of it.65#ut of what8 Ha!ing a blast86 Jack felt a rush of adrenaline course through his !eins. 5/'m twenty-two. /t's practically my ob to ha!e a good time.659re other women there86 Her face looked pinched and strange.
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