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A Stylilstic Analysis of Chinese and English Translation of Huis Clos

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A Stylilstic Analysis of Chinese and English Translation of Huis Clos
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  English rhetoric and stylistics 王丁丁 2013300340093Spring semester, 2015 A Stylilstic Analysis of Chinese and English Translation of  Huis Clos ——  Comparison and Contrast et!een the T!o Translated "ersions 1# $ntrod%ction  Huis Clo s,  No Exit   in English or & 禁闭 ' in Chinese, is a 1944 e(istentialist)rench play !ritten y *ean+a%l Sartre# The !hole play is ao%t ho! three deceasedcharacters are p%nished y eing loc-ed in a room in hell together and tort%ring oneanother for e.er and e.er# Sartre tried to emed thro%gh this play se.eral of his essential philosophicalconcepts, incl%ding the famo%s and often misinterpreted /%otation enfer, cest lesa%tres or ell is other people, !hich is ao%t the oo- and the perpet%alontological str%ggle of eing ca%sed to see oneself as an oect in the !orld of another conscio%sness#  Huis Clo s in )rench is e/%i.alent to the legal term in camera6, !hich means in pri.ate, or a pri.ate disc%ssion ehind closed doors# 7ther English translations of thetitle incl%de  In Camera ,  No Way Out  , Vicious Circle ,  Behind Closed Doors , and  Dead  End  # 7ther Chinese translations incl%de & 隔离审讯 '& 密室 '& 禁锢 '& 间隔 '& 禁止旁听 '& 没有出口 ' and & 他人 '#The play !as first performed at the Th8tre d% "ie%(+Colomier in :ay 1944# $nChina, these years, more and more little theatres and %ni.ersity drama cl%s are performing it, sho!ing an e.er increasing interest in this play# o!e.er, its only pre.alent .ersion of Chinese translation that co%ld e fo%ndonline is far from satisfaction, from the perspecti.e of oth a%diences and theatregro%ps# Th%s, $ !ill ma-e a stylilstic comparati.e st%dy et!een English and Chinesetranslations of this play on the asis of the srcinal )rench script, and gi.e somes%ggestions for the modification of the Chinese one# 2# honological )eat%re ;%e to the disting%ishing feat%res of the genre of play script, the phonologicalfeat%res largely depend on different designs of directors and lang%age patterns of actors or actresses# <%t !e can still compare the t!o .ersions in terms of phonologicalde.ices#=ndisp%tedly, the phonological concerns of the English .ersion is more  elaorati.e than the Chinese one#e#g# >A?C$@ ###*e ne p eux  pl%s .o%s s%pporter, e ne p eux  pl%s# "a+tenB T% med8gofttes encore pl%s /%elle# *e ne . eux  pas menliser dans tes y eux # T% es moite B t%es molle B T% es %ne pie%.re, t% es %n mar8cage# )renchD>A?C$@ ### $ cant end%re it any l o nger, $m thro%gh !ith yo%  o th# > o  a!ay#o%re e.en fo%ler than she# $ ! o nt let myself get  o gged in yo%r eyes# o%re so ftand s limy# =ghB i-e an o ctop%s# i-e a /%agmire# 6 EnglishD …… 加尔散: 我对你们再!"#$%&我再'()%*+,你-./0我12&我(34你56789:;<*你=>>?@AAB,你CDEFG&你CDHIJ* ChineseDFitho%t ta-ing meaning into consideration, it is clear that the English translationis rhythmic to read !ith the application of phonetic de.ices s%ch as alliteration andassonance, !hich is faithf%l to the srcinal# The !ord  s oft alliterates !ith    s limy , thee/%i.alence of !hich in )rench are moite and molle , also alliterating to each other#:ean!hile, o  pen assonates !ith b o th,   o and   ! o n"t#    $ o ner   assonates !ith b o  ed,  so  ft   and   o ctopus #Fhereas, eca%se of the different lang%age systems Chinese and EnglishG)rench elong to, namely Sino+Tietan lang%age family and $ndo+E%ropean lang%age family,it is diffic%lt for Chinese translators to achie.e a similar phonological effect, %t theystill can resort to other Chinese techni/%es# $n this paragraph, red%plication is %sed inthe e(pressions li-e   ” =>>?@AA  to impro.e the rhythmicality and di.ersity of !ording# 3# e(ical )eat%re 3#1 ;ictionFhen it comes to translating literary !or-s, diction is one of the most cr%cialand demanding part# $t re/%ires that the tranlation !or-, on one hand, e as faithf%l tothe so%rce lang%age as possile, and on the other hand, conform to the targetlang%ageHs haits#e#g# ESTEE ###Eh ien, le/%el de .o%s de%( oserait mappeler son eau vive I7n ne .o%s trompe pas, .o%s a%tres, .o%s sa.eJ /%e  je suis une ordure ### )renchD ESTEE ###Fell, !hich of yo% t!o !o%ld dare to call me his glancing stream ,his crystal girlI o% -no! too m%ch ao%t me, yo% -no! I'm rotten through andthrough ### EnglishD …… “ KLM尔: NO&你们P人QRS0我 TU ” V我(W你们&你们XY我CZ[\  …… * ChineseDEa% .i.e6 in the srcinal script, meaning r%nning !ater or fresh !ater, istranslated respecti.ely into glancing stream6 in English, a free translation, and  TU 6 in Chinese, a literal translation# $t is tr%e that ea% .i.e6 can e directly translatedinto  TU 6, %t the latter fails to con.ey the connotation of the former in its o!nc%lt%re, !hich is a s!eet, romantic nic-name for lo.ers# o!e.er, glancing stream6carries oth denotati.e and connotati.e meanings of ea% .i.e6# :y s%ggestion is to%se  ]^ 6 instead of  TU 6# The same sit%ation occ%rs in $m rotten thro%gh and thro%gh6 and  我CZ[  \ 6, e/%i.alent to e s%is %ne ord%re6 in the srcinal script#3#2 rono%nFhat is also !orth noticing is the different %se of prono%ns in these three.ersions# $n )rench, prono%ns are %sed more often in collo/%ial sentences, !hich isnot the same as in English and Chinese#e#g# >A?C$@ ### Tu  es moiteB tu  es molleB Tu  es %ne pie%.re,  tu es %nmar8cage# )renchD>A?C$@ ### You Hre soft and slimy# =ghB i-e an octop%s# i-e a /%agmire#EnglishD …… 加尔散: 你=>>?@AAB,你CDEFG&你CDHIJ* ChineseD$n the srcinal .ersion, the a%thor %ses fo%r t%6s, meaning yo%, in t!o shortsentences# $n the Chinese .ersion, there is three  你 6s piled together, !hich, from the perspecti.e of a Chinese a%dience, creates a h%ddled feeling to hear or read# Fhile inthe English .ersion, the translator only -eeps one yo%6, according to the economicaland s%ccinct principle#3#3 "%lgar ang%ageThe srcinal play, tho%gh as%rd in plot and setting, is act%ally realistic in certainaspects, incl%ding the %sage of .%lgar lang%age#e#g# $@KS aB chienne B A plat .entreB A plat .entreB )renchD$@EL Thats right, fa!n on him, li-e the silly bitch  yo% are# >ro.el and cringeBEnglishD _`L  a,bc,defgh,defgh, ChineseDChienne6 in Chinese means  bc 6, %t the English translation itch6, e(ceptfrom its asic meaning, contains an e(tended meaning of sl%t6, !hich is moreappropriate in the conte(t# $n addition, the English .ersion tends to .onl%ntarily add c%rses !hen charactersare going thro%gh intensi.e conflicts, in order to ma-e the con.ersations morea%thentic#e#g# ESTEE ### :ais /% est+ce /%il fa%t /%e e fasse po%r /%e t% me lchesI### )renchDESTEE ###7h, damn it , isnt there anything $ can do to get rid of yo%I###EnglishD 4# SyntacticG >ramatical )eat%re 4#1 Sentence engthThe common syntactic feat%re of the three .ersions is that the maority of thescripts are simple sentences and short, clipped dialog%es, mostly in a /%estion+and+ans!er form, !ith long monolog%es appearing alternately# Ta-e %cene &  as an e(ample# $n the English .ersion, there are in total 12M0 !ordsin %cene &  and 190 sentences, !hich means the a.erage sentence length is only N#O!ords per sentence, !ay less than the general fig%re of 1O#N# Comparati.ely, in the  Chinese .ersion, there are in total 1O4O Chinese characters in %cene &  and 1N3sentences, !hich means the a.erage sentence length is 10#O Chinese characters per sentence, !hich is !ithin the normal fig%re of OP12#4#2 $mperati.e Sentence The translation methods of the imperati.e sentences, !hich occ%r a lot, ha.edistincti.e feat%res in the t!o .ersions# e#g ESTEE ### Ramasse-moi, prends-moi , dans ton cQ%r, t% .erras comme eserai gentille# )renchDESTEE ### So gather me up,  dear, fold me to your heart — and yo%Hll seeho! nice $ can e# EnglishD …… KiM尔: j我klmh&j我ne你ogh&你pqr我CsOtu* ChineseDThe English .ersion %s%ally %ses the same sentence str%ct%re as the )rench.ersion, !hile the Chinese one is inclined to add interections at the end of e.eryimperati.e sentence to achie.e certain tones, incl%ding imploration and command#<%t too many repeated  h 6s ma-e the syntactical str%ct%re a little it monotono%sand red%ce the sentence m%ltiformity# Therefore, play script translators sho%ld pay more attention to the .ariety of diction and the readaility# 5# Semantic )eat%re The srcinal play is o%tstanding at the aptly %sed rhetorical de.ices, especiallyfig%res of speech, th%s ma-ing it a demanding o for the translators to accomodate oth lang%ages#e#g# >A?C$@ ### ce fantme de souffrance , /%i frle , /%i caresse  et /%i ne fait amais asseJ mal# )renchD>A?C$@ ### this creeping pain  that gna!s  and  fumbles and ca-resses  one andne.er h%rts /%ite eno%gh# EnglishD 加尔散  vvwxyBz{&|}你~•€€:&|‚ƒ你&tC}m(„你…r†x* ChineseD$n this sentence, oth metaphor and personification are %sed# The Chinese.ersion acc%rately translate ce fantRme de so%ffrance6 into  wxyBz{ 6, !hilethe English .ersion %ses the e(pression of this creeping pain6# The !ord creeping6implies that the agoniJing pain is snea-ing aro%nd and annoying the spea-er, !hich ismore implicit and .i.id e.en than the srcinal .ersion# As for the personified .ers, the English .ersion adds a .er gna!6 to enhancethe po!erf%l effect of the parallel str%ct%re, and the compact, repeated and6s restorethe srcinal climactic er%ption of the spea-erHs emotion# o!e.er, in the Chinesetranslation, the tempo and tension are s%ddenly alle.iated eca%se of the alteration of the sentence pattern#Another e(ample also sho!s the fle(iility and creati.ity of the English .ersion,!hich adds detailed descriptions to ma-e the metaphor more reasonale and literary#e#g# ESTEE ###*e ne s%is pl%s /%%ne peau  + et ma pea% nest pas po%r .o%s#  )renchD ESTEE ### I'm just a hollo! dummy , all thats let of me is the outside —  %tits not for yo%# EnglishD KLM尔  我‡ˆ9D‰Š)&‹C我w‰Š(CŒŽB* ChineseD N# Concl%sion After comparing the srcinal script of  Huis Clos !ith its t!o translated .ersions,!e may come to the concl%sion that the English .ersion is etter oth stylistically andliterarily# To change the c%rrent sit%ation of lac-ing e(cellent Chinese tranlations of important play scripts li-e  Huis Clos , theatres, drama schools or p%lishing ho%sessho%ld start o%t to assemle teams of /%alified Chinese literary translators toretranslate those famo%s play scripts# 7ther!ise, theatre gro%ps in %ni.ersities andlittle theatres co%ld only resort to those Chinese translations of inferior /%alitytranslated y some %n-no!n translators, ostr%cting the progress and de.elopment of ChinaHs theatrical le.el# This phenomenon sho%ld e attached great importance to ythe a%thorities concerned# ?eferences *ean+a%l Sartre,  Huis Clos "‘ , httpGGschools#alcds#on#caGteachersGmcr%liGiGShared20;oc%mentsGFritten20assignment20DGSartre20+20%is20clos20Te(teD20#pdf   No Exit    ’‘ , httpGG!!!#.anderilt#ed%GolliGclass+materialsG*ean+a%lSartre#pdf  “禁闭”Q‘ , httpGG!en-%#aid%#comG.ie!G4a3aOf0002020O40e1e91c#html – , “˜™’š›œž”
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