A Survivor of Woman-To-Woman Rape

A Survivor of Woman-To-Woman Rape
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  This article was downloaded by: [University of Waterloo]On: 09 November 2014, At: 15:07Publisher: RoutledgeInforma Ltd Registered in England and Wales Registered Number: 1072954 Registeredoffice: Mortimer House, 37-41 Mortimer Street, London W1T 3JH, UK Journal of Occupational Science Publication details, including instructions for authors andsubscription information: An Interview with ‘Lucy’: A Survivor of Woman-to-Woman Rape Rebecca Twinley aa  University of Plymouth , UKPublished online: 11 Oct 2011. To cite this article:  Rebecca Twinley (2012) An Interview with ‘Lucy’: A Survivor of Woman-to-Woman Rape, Journal of Occupational Science, 19:2, 191-195, DOI: 10.1080/14427591.2011.607793 To link to this article: PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR ARTICLETaylor & Francis makes every effort to ensure the accuracy of all the information (the “Content”) contained in the publications on our platform. 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Terms & Conditions of access and use can be found at  Occupational Profile An Interview with ‘Lucy’: A Survivor of  Woman-to-Woman Rape Rebecca Twinley At 19 years old, Lucy returned homefrom University to spend Easter withher family and went out one eveningwith a friend. When Lucy went tothe toilet she was pushed frombehind into the cubicle by anotherwoman who physically and sexuallyassaulted her. In this occupationalprofile, Lucy reflects upon the time just prior to this event and describesits impact on her occupational per-formance.Due to the traumatic nature of thisaccount, a pseudonym is used tomaintain confidentiality; minorfacts, such as place names, havealso been altered to protect theinterviewee’s identity. Lucy worksas a professional and lives in theUK; she is now in her thirties andidentifies as a gay woman. JOS:  Could you begin by telling meabout when you left home to go toUniversity? Lucy:  Yes, I finished my ‘A’ Levelsat College and then turned 18 andwas desperate to move out. Somuch so that I don’t really remem-ber giving much thought to thecourse I chose to study. I justthought, oh well, I just want to goto Uni and have a good time! So Iopted to study the subject area thatI had enjoyed most at College    Politics-which happened to also bethe one I got the best ‘A’ Level gradefor. JOS:  Why were you ‘‘desperate tomove out’’? Lucy:  Well, I guess like many 18 yearolds I wanted freedom to do what Iwanted when I wanted, rather thanhaving to check-in with parents orkeep them informed all the time. I just remember feeling so excited atthe prospect of moving out and Idon’t think I was in the least bitscared about how I would cope; I just thought I would. Also, myparents, at this time, didn’t know Iwas gay and I think this was a hugefactor in making me want to leavehome. I have so many friends thatwere in similar situations, living athome with their parents who didn’tknow they were gay and so feelingdesperate to get away where theydidn’t have to worry about lying totheir parents or their parents findingout. I mean this was a while backnow,andI’d liketothinkthings haveslightly changed for younger people,but I’m sure there are still manyyoung gay people who move outsooner than they perhaps ordinarilywould just because they need to befree. It’s not that I didn’t love or geton with my parents; I just couldn’tcopewith having tolie about whereIwas going and what I was doing.You know, often I might stay atgirlfriend’s houses because theycouldn’t, obviously, come back tomine. I ended up spending a lot of my time away from home, particu-larly between the ages of 16 to 18, j  Rebecca Twinley, Lecturer in Occupational Therapy,University of Plymouth, UK  j  Correspondence to:Rebecca.  – 2012 The Journal of Occupational ScienceIncorporated Journal of Occupational Science2012, 19(2), pp 191    195.ISSN 1442-7591 print/ISSN 2158-1576 online  JOURNAL OF OCCUPATIONAL SCIENCE VOL 19(2), JUNE 2012 191    D  o  w  n   l  o  a   d  e   d   b  y   [   U  n   i  v  e  r  s   i   t  y  o   f   W  a   t  e  r   l  o  o   ]  a   t   1   5  :   0   7   0   9   N  o  v  e  m   b  e  r   2   0   1   4  and my parents just thought I was with Collegefriends. JOS:  How did you feel about feeling the need tostay away from home during that time? Lucy:  Actually, I look back now and kind of regret spending so much time away because Ithink it really changed my relationship with myparents. I wasn ’ t close to them. If anything I feltI was drifting further out of reach from them.Well, I didn ’ t feel close and I doubt they did tome; I was pretty on guard when I would seethem. But then I wouldn ’ t change the time Ispent with girlfriends because, at the end of theday, I was enjoying myself and completely doingwhat felt right for me; it was only when I thoughtabout my parents that it didn ’ t feel right. That ’ swhy I needed to move away. JOS:  Can you tell me about starting Universityand that stage of your life? Lucy:  Yes, well, I decided to find a sharedstudent house, rather than live in Halls becauseI had heard stories from friends that Halls can bequite suffocating, a bit too close. So I found a 5bedroom house and rented a room there. I hadfirst choice of room so went for the biggest     itwas massive! It cost about £5 more aweek, whichsounds like nothing but not for a student, notthen, but I loved the space. Then two other girlsand two boys moved in too. JOS:  And what did you spend your time doingin your first year? Lucy:  What didn ’ t I do?! I soon became the wildone of the house, that ’ s for sure. The others werereally very quiet. I went out and made friendsandwould come back at all different times of dayor night, but they would pretty much constantlybe there. I guess I feel guilty, looking back,because I would roll in drunk and probably wakethem all up. But, you know, I enjoyed myself somuch. I mean, I went to Uni, I did attend, mostof the time, and actually enjoyed learning moreabout Politics. Even though I spent most of mytime having a good time socialising, I stillsomehow managed to study and get assignmentswritten. I guess because it interested me. I lovedhaving to research and find out new pieces of information and balance arguments and critiquewhat had been written. My friends found itamazing that I could pass assignments and partyso much! But studying wasn ’ t my priority at thattime in my life. I was enjoying being gay andbeing out, well, out to whoever asked. It ’ samazing how liberating it feels to say  ‘‘ Actually,I ’ m gay ’’ . I thought I ’ d feel embarrassed but atthe end of the day I was telling aperson the truthabout me and I hated it when people assumed Ihad a boyfriend because it made me feel like Iwas lying to people again; I mean, don ’ t get mewrong, I didn ’ t shout about it from the rooftops,I just told those who asked and enjoyed beingable to be truthful. JOS:  What were your main hobbies or interestswhilst you were at University? Lucy:  I loved cycling. I would cycle for miles. MyUni was in a city so I would cycle to geteverywhere. JOS:  What was it you liked about cycling? Lucy:  Oh I don ’ t know, it just gave me space toclear my head. I would get on my bike sometimesand not even plan where I was going. I loveddoing that. I can ’ t imagine doing it now; I ’ m farmore organised. I like to know what I ’ m doingandwhen I ’ m doing it. Whereas then, I just, I feltso much freer. I suppose I was though. I had noresponsibility really apart from to turn up tolectures and hand in assignments and pay acouple of bills. I mean, I worked; I worked threepart-time jobs at one point. I always workedthrough Uni in order to fund my social life.Generally I did waitressing. I loved it; even nowwhen I get bored with my very serious andprofessional job, I sit and think how I ’ d prefer tobe a waitress again! I loved the challenge of having to strike a rapport with customers in suchshort space of time. And, of course, leaving workand not taking any of it withyou. I think that ’ s a REBECCA TWINLEY192 JOURNAL OF OCCUPATIONAL SCIENCE VOL 19(2), JUNE 2012    D  o  w  n   l  o  a   d  e   d   b  y   [   U  n   i  v  e  r  s   i   t  y  o   f   W  a   t  e  r   l  o  o   ]  a   t   1   5  :   0   7   0   9   N  o  v  e  m   b  e  r   2   0   1   4  very powerful thing to have in a job. I envypeople who leave at 5.00pm and don ’ t thinkabout it until they ’ re back there at 9.00am thenext day. Anyway, as I ’ ve said, above all mypriority was socialising; I loved going out,drinking, having a laugh and not worrying aboutthe repercussions. JOS:  What do you mean by repercussions? Lucy:  Well, just not worrying about offendingother people by our behaviour or being a bitloud. I mean I didn ’ t even have to worry abouthangovers then. I ’ d just wake up and be ready foranother day. But also I never worried aboutgetting myself in trouble, you know, into difficultor tricky situations. I guess I thought I wasinvincible. But actually, I did get in some trickysituations at times. The worst though waswhen Iwasn ’ t even drunk. JOS:  Would you mind telling me about thatLucy? Lucy:  Well, I was in my second year at this point.I ’ d moved into a different house with friends I ’ dmet at Uni and we ’ d decided to get a housetogether. We were a great group of friends really.We soon got very close. One girl became thematernal person andwould cook for us all. I wasthe joker of the house and one girl, who I wentout with for a while, was the wild one then, notme. We were typical students living as carefree alife as we could, only worrying about how wemight divide up the phone bill! Anyway, atEaster time I decided I should go home for afew nights to see my parents, as all my house-mates often visited theirs. I got in touch with an old College friend andarranged to go out with him on the Saturdaynight. We met up and had one drink in a barbefore going to a kind of gay pub/club place. I hadone drink and then told him I was just going tothe toilet. I went downstairs and as I pushed thecubicle door open I was pushed, quite hardactually, from behind and this woman, well, girl,I don ’ t know, she was probably in her early 20s,came into the cubicle and locked the door andshe wouldn ’ t b****y let me out. She told me she ’ dbeen watching me all night, which is weird,because I ’ d hardly been in the place. When Iasked her to let me out she hit me a few times,like across my head. Oh and she had ripped myb****y shirt apart, and then before I knew it shehad me in a position I couldn ’ t get out of andforced herself on me by, you know, raping mewith an empty beer bottle she had in her handbefore using her own hand to, you know . . .  shereally hurt me, I was in pain. It ’ s strange; I cantalk about it now like it wasn ’ t me it happenedtoo. Like I ’ m distant from it. I have an incredibleability to dissociate, a psychotherapist once toldme. That ’ s not always a good characteristic tohave though. JOS:  How did that affect you and how did you,or do you, dissociate? Lucy:  Oh god, in lots of ways. Straight after thishappened I had thought about calling the policebecause she had followed me, you know, likeright out of the club and wouldn ’ t go until Imanaged to reach a phone box. But then I gotthere and just thought to myself,  ‘ What am Igoing to tell them? That I ’ ve been raped byanother woman? ’  I couldn ’ t face having toexplain it all and I guess I felt I wouldn ’ t betaken seriously or something. And so then Iphoned and told somebody I had been seeingand she didn ’ t even seem to understand. Well,that ’ s how I felt but then maybe she just found itdifficult to deal with. Like I imagine any partnersof rape survivors do. But because of that, I thenkept it to myself. I regret that at times, notreporting. I can look back and think if I hadreported maybe they would have looked for her.Someone once asked me how did I know shehadn ’ t done that before and might do it again.That makes me feel awful, even now, it makes mefeel slightly sick. It ’ s strange, like you have aresponsibility, but you are the victim. I mean,I ’ m not saying I ’ m a victim now; I once heard atalk about rape and sexual assault and it wasabout survivors and that ’ s how I see myself, not avictim. But, yes, maybe I should have reported REBECCA TWINLEY JOURNAL OF OCCUPATIONAL SCIENCE VOL 19(2), JUNE 2012 193    D  o  w  n   l  o  a   d  e   d   b  y   [   U  n   i  v  e  r  s   i   t  y  o   f   W  a   t  e  r   l  o  o   ]  a   t   1   5  :   0   7   0   9   N  o  v  e  m   b  e  r   2   0   1   4
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